Sahasranama - Krishnam Vande Jagadgurum

                                                 

When I decided to restart writing after more than a decade, I was unable to come up with a post that would be my Opening Batsman! 

Until couple of days ago - during my torturous drive to work (Thank God for 2 days Work from Office. I really wonder how Bengalureans managed life before Covid. It almost feels like it was during another lifetime) I came across this talk by Dushyant Sridhar and My oh My! Was I impressed by this guy and his narration! He combines humor with spirituality to keep the listeners hooked throughout.  

I instantly knew who my opener for my writing come back is, but did I want to continue writing in my previous blog? Oh surely No! As I don't recognize my own voice from 12 years ago! I feel like I am reading someone else when I read my old posts. That's when I decided that I should give my older self a new identity - so here I am writing again - from the other side of forties!

So my relationship with Vishnu Sahasranama started way back - in 2009 or so. When one of my very dear friends in the US who was pregnant at that time would listen to it everyday as it is supposed to have magical power on the baby in the womb. Of course back then, it was a story to me. Until after a couple of years, when I was on my way of becoming a mother - and had to be on bed rest, I started looking out for things to keep me occupied. Obviously lying down the entire day had started getting on my nerves. I decided to listen to Sahasranama everyday. Not learn. Only listen, as learning seemed too far fetched back then. I remember playing it on my phone and drifting off to sleep. Everyday. This continued almost throughout my pregnancy. And when the D day arrived - where I was rushed into the hospital, was on epidural and the unimaginable pain - amidst the cannot do it and the lashing out on poor husband moments - I vividly remember that one particular time frame in the middle of the night - the nurse had just plugged me into the epidural and told me that it is going to take another few hours before I am ready, and the poor husband had just drifted off to sleep on the chair next to my bed - he himself having had such a tiring day. I closed my eyes in distress. Helplessness had started creeping in and I started wondering if I will be able to go through this labor. I suddenly felt very alone. And out of no where - I heard Vishnu Sahasranama in MS Subbalakshmi's voice inside my head! That was such a divine unforgettable moment for me - I somehow felt that it was my baby trying to connect with me and asking me to hold up - Almost saying - "Amma, I'm coming. Don't give up"!! That moment I sensed that me and my baby are connected through this Sahasranama in someway! Cut to Present - when I heard Dushyant telling in his talk - that in the olden days - in delivery rooms - there used to be ladies singing Vishnu Sahasranama continuously - I had goosebumps! 

I also loved Dushyant's wit and humor when he sneaks in sarcasm in between his stories - Like "Did I just say - Lotus blooming in Tamilnadu" ??!! I was also getting irritated when he cracked jokes in Tamil and I totally didn't get it!! Audience was in splits and that's even more annoying having missed a good laugh! Looks like, I will have to learn Tamil after all. My best friends who are Tamilians will finally punch the air!!! :)

The way Dushyant narrated Rama and Sita's relationship - comparing it to today's evolved commitments towards each other! I still remember - when I was in my 20s and 30s - I was very judgmental of Sriram. According to me he was a very nasty husband - And Sita deserved better. But today, I understand Prabhu Sriram a lot better and makes me less judgmental about people around me in turn. 

My 11 year old has developed his own relationship with Almighty and that makes me very proud. But his continuous changing dedication irks me a bit. As much as I accept the fact that, he is no more a little boy and his priorities are changing, I still miss the days when he learnt everything I taught. 

When I decided to memorize Vishnu Sahasranama - I took almost 2 months. This was way back in 2020, during peak Covid - and learning Sahasranama in the evenings helped me remain calm amidst the chaos outside. My next goal was to teach it to my then 6 year old. I still remember him sitting on my lap and reciting the shlokas so beautifully. We were almost 20% through. And then Covid ended. Schools reopened. Kids got very busy and he grew up. Now, whenever I remind him about our unfinished lesson - his immediate replies are ready - "Amma, pleeeaaaase!", "Ammmaaa, not now!", "Ammaaa, later"!! I have also realized that flattery stops working when kids cross 10 years. Last time I told him - "Babu, you recite so beautifully and with such clarity. I am so surprised". His immediate response was "That doesn't mean I have to learn the rest of the Sahasranama now Amma". He very cleverly ended the negotiation right there.

I know that, if I could learn it at 36 years, he will surely learn it. If not now, later. If I could learn it because IT called me, he will learn IT when he hears the calling. 

Sahasranama is my companion every morning. When the house is calm and the sun is yet to rise - I begin cooking for my son in dim kitchen lights. I start reciting with MS Subbulakshmi on Alexa. I begin the day with gratitude and surrender. 

Sahasranama reminds me of Home no matter where I am. The power of Supreme narrated by Bhishma on his death bed to Yudhishthira - one of the many gems from Mahabharatha to the Mankind.